Ever wondered why some friendships are so successful and others fail? Is a two people friendship better than those of more than two people? Do we expect a lot from people we call friends or do they expect a lot from us? So what is this ‘friendship’? Friendship is defined as “A relationship of mutual affection between two or more people, a stronger form of interpersonal bond than association” so there is more friendship than meeting up for a drink?
From my understanding we make friends because of having the same interest or being in the same environment, but what happens when people you call friends become jealous of you, gang up on you, you become the topic (nasty way) or start isolating you from things you used to do together? Well the above may never have happened to you, or you may never have done them to anyone, but this blog is my place to be free and share what I feel will benefit or help others in some ways.
There is nothing worse than the people you call/called friends to suddenly turn on you and make you feel like the worst person on Earth. You know what makes it worse, they know your weaknesses they know your strengths, so they can break you. Is friendship always like that? Should we be afraid to be friends with people and not be free with them just in case one day they decide to turn on you? Well, it happens, the people you call friends create their own little army and a meeting place where they scrutiny you and at these meetings they have nothing good to say about you, but you know what that’s nothing, I think you can sometimes do that as friends (however, if there is something wrong why not just talk to the person, if you are friends), the worst part is when they take all this to the next level (launching a personal attack), this is when they attack your physical appearance , your family and your general existence in their lives. If you have ever done any of the above to anyone, without knowing or unknowingly, maybe it’s high time you addressed this and maybe not do it again, I don’t want to say “victim” but this can have such a negative outcome to the person affected.
As young people I think we tend to underestimate how words we say about others can be hurtful, we tend to forget that our words can affect others as a person. Here is the truth, how would such friends make you feel, if you are the person they are “slagging” off calling names, attacking their every move they take, turning everyone against you, saying they have no personality, they act like someone else in the group (hello, thought you were friends in the first place because you had someting in common). It makes the receiving person doubt who they are, knocks their confidence down, feel worthless, question their own existence and feel alone. What if they aren’t as a strong person and this leads them to suicidal thoughts, because you have pushed them too much? Why would you inflict such pain on another human being, let alone someone you call/called a friend?
So why do friends become horrible to friends? I have spent a number of years trying to answer and understand. Could it be the their own insecurities playing on their persona, then to make themselves feel better they try to find someone to pick on so their own insecurities remain a secret? Address your insecurities in life, if it’s something you need to see someone about, please do so as it’s not fair to inflict pain on a friend.
Could it be jealous? Usually comes as a lack of self-confidence, deal with you own confidence instead of making others feel low, because you strongly believe that you have confidence issues and “slagging” others gives you a five minute boost, no that’s not right and no where near the solution to your confidence issues.
Could it be hate? This is the one I consider to be the least of the reasons as to why friends become horrible to friends, because as much as they do the horrible things, some of them don’t actually realise that it comes out as hate to the receiver.
Could it be because you are a afraid of being alone or afraid what you are doing could happen to you one day and right in that moment you better do it otherwise you will never get the opportunity to be on the popular side? I think some people may be afraid that if they don’t take part in the “slagging” they will not be accepted by others in the group, why would you be nasty to someone to be accepted by others? Acceptance can be a huge contributing factor, because we all want to be accepted but don’t do it at the expense of someone else.
If you have any questions or being affected by the issues raised in this blog, feel free to comment here or send me an email.
Thank you for reading.
All My Love.